The Great Northwest

When I posted my pictures of Seville at a week old, I included a nursing picture. I thought it was a really sweet picture. Her head is covering anything "significant," and it's not like breastfeeding is sexual or pornographic anyway. I wanted to include that picture and memory in my collection of sweet moments. It is, afterall, what I spend a huge amount of time doing with her (about 8 hours a day at the time), and a significant part of the wondrous and beautiful miracle of motherhood. It's very goddess-like, being able to provide absolutely everything this little person needs, right from your own body.

Anyway, one of the responses I got was from my Manhattan-residing brother-in-law. "Aaugh! I didn't need to see that! You Westerners!" He didn't say this to me, of course, but I heard about it. It was all in good fun, and I laughed (nevertheless, it did contribute to the eventual removal of the photo from the online album).

The Northwest is a funny place. I'm proud of most things that are characteristic of Portland. For example, I recently learned that Portland has twice the number of women doing natural births than most other places. Bravo! (I was planning a natural birth, but had an emergency cesarean birth. I hope and pray I have no complications next time and can do it then). One can also note that the Northwest is particularly prone to cool outdoor activities. I mean, we have three R.E.I.s in the Portland Metro area alone. And our whole sense of fashion reflects our outdoorsiness. We don Keens and Merrels as everyday wear. Show up in all-black New York City in a fleece vest, Columbia Sportswear pants and Chaco sandals and you'd stick out like a sore thumb (sore from rockclimbing, probably. ha ha). In Portland people go to the theater in that kindof gettup.

The question on my mind is this: Am I at home in the northwest because my personality naturally leans toward these things? Or do I lean toward these things because I live in the northwest and am influenced by the sociopolitical mood here?

A couple weeks ago Jared and I went hiking in Forest Park -- a very Portland thing to do. While hiking we saw graffiti on one of the trail fences. Now, you see graffiti all over the country. But THIS graffiti said... get this... "Mother Earth Feeds You." --! This is what a good-for-nothing subversive outcast troublemaker in Portland graffitis. "Mother Earth Feeds You" (sucka). I can just see him in his bandana made of hemp, spray paint made of renewable recycled paint, and hiking boots, painting his message to the world. "That'll show them! Stick it to the man!!" he must have been saying to himself.

so funny.

I think the punk kid is influenced by living here. Here is someone who, if born and raised in L.A. would have written "Black Gangsta Disciple." This is the northwest's version of a punk kid.

What I Meant to Say Was...

Paul and Dani's wedding: What a great and original celebration! Paul took the performance art we've all been playing with to the most extreme. The ultimate performance. Bravo, Paul and Dani. Bravo.

Singing at Paul and Dani's wedding I introduced my piece as it relates to "The Great Paradox" as they called their "performance." I fumbled over my introduction, unable to remember how I had worded it in my letter to them. I should have just read it, but there you go. Here it is, as originally written:

THE GREAT PARADOX

Love is a paradox indeed. It is both the time when you have to be the most honest with yourself, and yet the most willing to overlook reality in favor of a more hopeful and perfect view. It is a time for acknowledging harsh reality, yet for wearing rose-colored glasses. You must both love someone exactly as they are and also give them every benefit of the doubt, overlooking flaws in order to enable their growth toward something new. Love is both having absolute faith in the constancy of your partner, and also having enough faith to allow your partner to change and move through his or her own life and discovery. It is the paradox of two individual parts which are actually one unified whole. It is both embracing and letting go of someone at the same time. It is where you lose yourself to find yourself.

I chose to share my piece because the songs are about those things: The first about letting go of a fantasy in favor of a real person, and all the associated adjustments of the heart and mind. The second, about letting a real person be a fantasy, and allowing them to become something greater than they are. Sometimes relating to someone as they may potentially become is more honest than relating to them as they currently are – simply on a path toward a truer self.

It is in the juxtaposition of a deeply honest love and a forgiving ennabling love that makes us able to accomplish the greatest things. It is both humility and vision that I hope to convey.

I love you Paul and Dani! Have fun on your adventures together!




Here are the lyrics to the songs I sang:

Betrothed
by Skye Pixton
(see live video snippit from CD Release)

Walking away from
all the past lives that I’ve tried to lead
I’m walking away from
all the mistrials, all those memories

Taking a last walk
through my girlhood, through those moonlit streets
I’m taking the fast road
to the next world, to my destiny

Help me to be honest
about what I am
about what I feel
Help me to be honest
about what I need
about what is real

I know that some days
won’t be the bliss that I’ve always dreamed
and I know in some ways
you are bound to be disappointed in me

Take me as your angel
as your demon
if that’s what you need
take me as a stranger
as your best friend
anything, I can be

All of you and all of me
Nothing less will do
All my sorrows, all your dreams
Make one life of two

I’ve got a feeling
there is something that’s been on your mind
My head has been reeling
I’d be shocked if you didn’t need some time to think

an’ I’ve had my moments
I’ve had times when I thought that I couldn't breathe
well, please, love, just know that
if it’s part of you then it’s alright with me

Give me your rejoicings
all your sorrows
your fears and your shoes
Give me all your mornings/mournings
your tomorrows
anything that is you

Help me to be crazy
in the moments when logic
can’t stand
Help me to be graceful
in the moments when things don’t
go as planned
Help me to be honest
About what I need
about what I feel
Help me to be honest
About what is me
About what is real
What is real
What is real



You
By Skye Pixton

I stopped believing the world was crazy when I was in your arms
I met you and suddenly there was light behind the stars

with you there’s never any night
with you I’m alright
you know, somebody once told me if I hang on
There would be somebody someday
well I look into your eyes, and see the way

There was a time I was afraid to swim; now I’d sail the seven seas
and now I sometimes dare to hope for things I never thought could be

with you there’s never any night
with you I’m alright
you know, somebody once told me if I hang on
There would be somebody someday
well I look into your eyes, and see the way

I once believed in a thousand fables
they were lies
I used to wait for a guardian angel
that passed me by
But when you touch my face
I can have my dreams all over
And you give me faith
To know that I can start all over

and now I
Believe that I could walk on water
If I
tried I’d probably walk through these walls
You and I
together we could surely fly away

And when you think that your world’s gone crazy
I’ll be there
And when your walls seem to fall before you
I’ll be there
Just take my hand, my love, you know
I’ll be here

I could fly away with you.

Happy Easter from Seville!

(I'm no Emily Saxey Neaman. But I thought Seville's new Bunny towel was pretty cute. Also, for those who don't know, I have some pics and video posted on our family blog at www.jaredandskye.blogspot.com. )