Every year, in January, I have an emotional - what would you call it - upheaval, breakdown, rebirth, journey, catharsis, transcendent experience, purging, cleansing, any of the above. For some reason, each year I experience the reinvention of self. It's a painful process, but one from which I always emerge.
This always happens in December and January. Is it the weather? Is it the New Year? The aftermath of the holidays in general? Is it my birthday (tomorrow)? Is it the alignment of the stars and planets? Is it my tarot and numerology (which does, by the way, indicate I should have a rebirth every year around early January. crazy stuff.).
Does anyone else have a regular, predictable schedule upon which they do these things? It seems so transendent, so spiritual, so left-brained and personal to be tied to something like a "schedule," which is the opposite of all things "feeling" to my mind.
In any case...
like the phoenix, this year too I will rise from the ash, having cried my tears of redemption and having sung my heart to pieces.
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3 comments:
I couldn't go to sleep without wishing you a happy birthday! I love you Skye! Tell Jared I wish him a happy birthday too!
my experience is not the same, but similar. I have a redemption/reflection/introspectionalmost every Sunday. Sometimes it gets bad, and I don't know how to come out of it. Sometimes it's light and fluffy like fresh muffins from the oven.
I also go through periods of deep empathizing with humanity. I never know when that will strike, but when it does, I'm completely out of commission. I can't eat or sleep. I just cry, feeling the tears unyielding, unceasing, deep and relentless. It happened two weeks ago on a Friday night.
This gives me a little insight into what my Skye has been going through....
I'm the same as you, Skye. Every year. It typically begins in late November. That's when I go through a beautiful phase of serious self-investment. And I'm STILL going through it! Can you believe it?! It's fantastic, really.
And I think it's all the things you suggested: Christmas, New Year's, and the birthday.
:) Happy Anniversary of your 25th birthday!
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