Where's my dinner, woman!

Is it true that the expectation of something does not negate the joy in its fulfillment?

Jared & I have been reading the infamous love languages book. His primary language is "acts of service," and no matter how many times I press him, he still says he feels loved when I do things like... oh, say... do the dishes, clean up the house, take out the garbage, make him dinner, vaccuum the living room..."

Are you serious? This is so unromantic. I mean, those are things I have to do all the time ANYway. So how does he get "I do this cuz I love him" from what may very well just be "this kitchen is gross. I've gotta do something about it."

Anyway, my biggest fear with "learning his dialect" is that if I make him dinner every night, that he'll come to expect dinner every night, and then it will be a requirement of our relationship, rather than an expression of heartfelt love. If he comes home and I haven't made him dinner, maybe he'll start calling me "woman" and take off his shirt to reveal a wife-beater underneath. Then he'll grab a beer and watch some tv.

No, seriously. I could lovingly make dinner every night, but I can't fathom that the warm fuzzies wouldn't eventually wear off for him. What happens when expectations become entrenched in our every day lives? Wouldn't we have to run faster and faster to keep up? Like developing a tolerance for our favorite drug?

Jared begs to differ.

Okay, and I have to admit... even though I expect flowers and chocolate on Valentine's Day, I don't like them any less from year to year (although I'm only on year #2. Ask me in 2057 and see what I say then.) (j/k). And even though I expect a kiss goodbye each morning, I only look forward to it more and more and revel in the moment more and more as time goes by. It's like expecting presents on Christmas. Who gets tired of presents? Not me! Hmmmm. Could he be right about wifely, domestic service too?

Trying to grasp someone else's love language is a challenge (if it doesn't involve presents, candlelight, or snowboarding anyway). But I guess no matter what floats your boat, there's something to being able to expect it to happen. I mean, not just that expecting isn't bad, but that it's actually good.

Expectation is part of the foundation of trust - a crucial element in a loving relationship. Why would we hook up with people if we didn't come to expect that they would provide the things we need to feel loved?